Am I a Blogging Mom or a Mom Blogger?
I started blogging about 7 months ago. When my hubby first pointed out how much time I was spending on my site I said it was because I just needed to get everything set up and designed and once I did I would have a schedule and it would require less of my time. That was a lie. Did I know it was a lie at the time…eh, no I don’t think so, but now I do.
I started blogging because I needed an outlet and because I like telling people what I think about products…so reviewing seemed like the perfect fit. But after a bit that got kind of stale because people couldn’t really connect with me…I mean, all they knew about me was I liked Covergirl lipstain and had two girls named Ellie and Eve. So, I expanded into the mom blogger realm…I now have the best of both worlds: I review products that interest me and I get to write about my life, my kids, and whatever random stuff that comes to mind.
But, as much as I like it, I have also noticed that it eats up a good portion of my time…it’s almost 1 AM and I am currently writing and trying to finish up reviews and get ahead so I can be prepared for the Blogher Conference. I have noticed that I don’t spend as much time on the floor rolling around with the kids and I don’t spend as much time picking up and cleaning up around my house…in fact, if you saw it right now the first word that would come to mind is sty. I have become an…addict.
Now, right about now you are thinking…well it can’t be that bad…but it is. I get up and check my site, email and the boards, fix the kids breakfast then check my email, work on getting a post up, play with the kids, moderate comments and answer emails, sort of pick up some messes, check my email and the boards, play with the kids, and the list goes on like that throughout the day…in total I say about 8-10 hours is spent blogging and doing work that pertains to blogging like reviewing stuff and writing the reviews.
7 months ago my kids got 100% of my attention, except on the random days where I got a book to read and then they got about 90%. Right now I would say that the kids get about 75% of my attention and maybe less sometimes. Does this mean that I am putting my blogging first? Does this mean that I am a Blogging Mom rather than a Mom Blogger. I mean, since blogging is kind of like a job that makes it ok right?
I am torn. I try to take the kids out of the house once a day to go somewhere or do something, but truthfully I am just as happy now just sitting down and letting them play inside while I work. I no longer feel the urge to “get out of the house” that I did when I didn’t blog. If Ellie wants juice, I generally ask her to wait until I can save something or finish typing up an email really fast. Does that mean I put blogging in front of her? When my hubby comes home I see it as “yeahy I have some uninterrupted writing/blog time so I don’t have to stay up until the wee hours of the morning time”, I don’t see it as “let’s have a family playtime time”…it’s sad really. Am I still a mom who blogs or have I turned into the blogger who is also a mom? There are times when I don’t know.
Don’t get me wrong I love what I do, the reviews, the telling people what I think, the writing resources for others and more…and yeah the little (little little little) extra $$$ I get doing this is nice too…I don’t feel guilty buying a pair of shoes now. But looking at the to do list I have in front of me and seeing 13 reviews that need to be completed and posted before Blogher, along with the regular reviews that I already had scheduled makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
So, where is the middle ground? Do I stop reviewing? H*ll no. Do I stop blogging? Oh H*LL NO. Do I suddenly stop being a mom? WTH DO YOU THINK? So what do I do? I think I need to take a step back and really manage the reviews that I accept…Do I love the idea? Is it a product that I want to keep after I am finished? Is it edible? (joking…sort of) I also need to just set aside some chunks of time during the day to be a mom who blogs rather than a blogger who moms. That means no constantly checking up on emails, no board lurking, and no slacking on real life stuff that needs to be done. *sigh* This sounds hard already.
Is it the curse of the stay at home mom to feel guilty when you do something that means you focus isn’t 100% on the kiddos…or is that just me?
Hi Victoria,
I call that the Mommy Guilt! Most SAHM have a lot of this. Mainly because our choice was to stay home with the kids so of course the kids should get our 100%. But we are still thinking, breathing, human beings that need a little more than baby talk to get though the day. I wish I could offer you some advice but really I am in the sort of same boat.
I love your blog.
Dawn
Definitely not just you. I’ve seriously had to examine what products I want to review or feature. I don’t want to get bogged down with stuff I truly wouldn’t use. Plus I need to remember to write a post for ME every once in a while.
Ahhh mommy guilt! It gets the best of us! Ok so IMO you are a MommyBlogger! seriously you are a good mom you do your best but I agree take a step back & really decide what you want to review. I’m trying to get my blog going STILL & its been since like march :-/ but I have 4 kiddos who take my attention so I truly don’t have time to actually sit around & blog. I think if your kids were your 100% all the time you would go crazy! A woman needs adult interaction! Ok Ill shut up now
i thinks it’s definently a curse. guilt is ugly isn’t it???
I think it’s a constant battle to find a balance that makes you happy. And I laugh out loud when I type the word “balance.” Not sure it exists but I think we can come close! Right now I’m maybe posting once or twice a week on my blog because life has too many other things going on that are more important. That’s just how it is! Hang in there!!!
I really enjoyed reading your blog above as I could relate completely. There has to be a happy, guilt-free middle gound for us Moms. I’ve just started reading a book by Susan Carrell
called Escaping Toxic Guilt. In it she helps one understand their guilt and teaches one how to work through it. It’s time to lose the guilt and really enjoy our children!
You’re not alone. My sentiments exactly. Add in there that I own another company with my husband and have to help him out a few hours a day…the guilt piles on…
Loved this post! I can so relate (though I don’t do reviews). As I sit and write this the carpet is in desperate need of a good vacuuming, and I just keep putting it off. The computer is my link to ADULTS, sometimes there’s something I need to talk about that requires more than a 1 year old and 3 year old ear,and can not wait for the husband to get home. I do need to find a happy medium where I don’t feel so guilty. Is there one?
I blog about this often on my personal family & friends blog. I don’t do reviews, but I am on the internet at least 6 hours a day. I read, enter contests, tweet…feeling guilty all the while, but not being able to stop (yes, I’m an addict, too). Even on vacation, I told my husband I needed at least 1-2 hours of computer time! And I was spending less time with my daughter, too, so I have been wondering how to do it all – oh yeah, I work 40 hours a week, too…outside the home. So I feel guilty about internet time there, too. So, no, you are not alone. I have been really focusing on spending quality time with my daughter – and it’s working. She is 27 months old, and I know this time goes by so quickly. I spend evenings with her after work, and don’t get on the internet until she goes to bed. I feel a bit less guilty. On the weekends, I have been cutting back on internet time, too. But, I have to make up for it at work…ok, it’s a vicious cycle, and I didn’t mean to write a book. I hope you can reach some kind of balance with your work and family life, too, especially with a new precious one on the way!
The one portion you forgot- working mom’s also feel the guilt and try to make the ones who stay home feel it.
I think it is the worst thing we do to ourselves and each other- instead of saying “yay” we can do, be and have what we want from life we say she made a different choice than I did so one of us has to be wrong and well it isn’t going to be me, etc…
Sad, when you look at it that way, really, but it is what it is.
Actually I think it is a woman thing, because we do the same thing to the child-free by choice, try to make them wrong so we are right.
Blog what you love. Do some more reviews on things your kids play with – get down in the trenches and play with them.
Accepting every review op that comes along- don’t sell yourself or your readers short. There will be other opportunities and the ones that come will be for things you can truly stand behind.
Hehe sorry off my high horse now. Carry on, blogging and mommying. Oh and don’t let it consume you (HA!) til it is yay a few hours uninterrupted on the comp when daddy gets home- play first for half an hour then sneak away. *g*
This was a great post – I’m having similar angst lately, but at the same time, blogging gives me back a little piece of ME… even if I am mostly blogging about my kids. LOL… it’s my thing and I feel like I need it. I’ve been doing it now almost a year and have no intention of stopping. I feel like even though it’s taking some time away from my kids and ‘to-do’s’ it’s also making the time I spend with them better, because I’ve had a little bit of ME time.
Haha! I so can relate with you! It is 12:30am here, and I am just finishing up a review on my blog. I have many more to do, sigh (but a good sigh
) I have the mommy guilt too, aghh!! What are we to do? My name is kim, and I am an addict too…
I totally understand what you’re saying and I think now that summer has come and kids (oh and moms!) are getting antsy and wanting to go outside and do more, mom bloggers are finding it harder to make time for it ALL. I think getting priorities in line and staying organized is a good way to deal with this – something I’m working on myself!
I think that any of us who blog feel the same way. I know I’m a single mom and I work full time so I definitely feel like this. And I just had my first blog party and man am I worn out! But… I don’t wanna give it up. This is my addiction, and hopefully, a way to not work as much.